Dreams .....Who'd have 'em

Why is it, when dreams are supposed to be so therapeutic, can they make you feel so bad?


What is so good about waking up 3 or 4 times a night with a dream that you have had so many times before - scenarios different but principles the same - dreams so realistic that you wake up with your heart pounding, scared to go back to sleep in case you return to that particular nightmare?


And another thing! Why is that they still pursue you, even when you know why you had them the first time round - insecurities about work, life, relationships or the past, do they still insist on returning - surely it is enough knowing what needs to change without it being repeated each night! Aagghh!


Feeling that there is definitely something or someone out there that will "make it better" surely is enough - or is it?

What do i feel like writing about and why?

Now that I have made the decision, rightly or wrongly to do a blog (tried to do one a couple of months ago and the first one was all I did!), I feel I should in fact write some more than the first entry - I will not let it be like my attempts at diary writing when I give up after the 1st week....

So many ideas, thoughts are jumbled up in my brain that I am going to need some time to put them in some semblance of order! I first thought that I would try and explain why I enjoy writing, but then thought no-one would want to read about that, so I thought that it might be better to group them in some "themes" again that sounds a bit grand, but there again, it might indeed work - so many things that happen in life, repeat themselves throughout the years, so it might be better to try and put some thought into why things do happen again and again?

So, having decided that I should try and be a bit ordered in my approach, what do I put pen to paper about first? State of the World generally, Politics (from someone who worked for the Labour Party for many years), Loneliness, Depression ( this affects so many people that it should not be swept under the carpet - and it is great that such well-known people such as Stephen Fry and Alistair Campbell are not afraid to discuss how it has affected them! Work - how hard it is to get the "work/life" balance right - at whatever age you may be! or Family and Relationships?

As the latter seems to be on my mind quite a lot at the moment and seems to be affecting my mood, view on life etc, I think I may write about that - I think what I am feeling or thinking is like so many other people, I hope some other people might read it and think - yes that is what is going on in my life - I am not alone!

So, that is what I am going to write about next - I hope it will be interesting - am finding it a great exercise just writing this!

More the next time!

Why blog I am asking myself?

Blog, Vlog - everyone from politicians to show business "celebrities" seem to be writing their thoughts down in a very public arena - so, I am thinking to myself, why on earth do I want to set myself possibly for people to criticize and slag off what I have written?

Obviously, what I am going to write is seen from my own perspective, sometimes it might not have been very accurate, but that is, I think, the same for everyone - what someone might think is a problem, another person could breeze through . Some also, may think, that "I should have known better" etc, but again, none of us are perfect and we are all trying to do the best we can in sometimes difficult circumstances!

Right, back to why I want to do this? Putting your thoughts down in a blog has appeared to me a very "arrogant" (not the right word but I am thinking of the one I should use!) thing to do - why on earth would anyone want to read my ramblings? It occurred to me however, that, if I had had the "support" or friendship of people in the past, then I might not have thought (however incorrectly at the time) that I was alone in trying to cope with my feelings and what was happening to me! I want people to know that even though people might be perfect strangers, they do care and are interested in what is going on in other people's worlds.

Having been part of the Twitterati (if I can call myself that) for a few months now, I have been amazed at how many really lovely people there are out there - perfect strangers to all intents and purposes, but they become part of a "family" - people who listen, reply when they can, and give advice (even if only in 140 characters) when it is needed - people who you can talk to at any time day or night - people who will say good night when you are going to bed by yourself, people who will say hello and goodbye when you are going to work, people whose "metaphorical" shoulder you can cry on when maybe you can't talk about it at home and much much more....

So why now? I hear myself asking that question! Well, the idea of writing something is appealing to me - the fact that Blogs can be short snippets of what has happened, what is or might be happening is attractive! The idea that a person can view a situation and see one point of view and in the very same breath be told that it is nonsense fascinates me - how can there so be many diverse and opposing points of views? These people might not agree with you, but they are experiencing the same emotions and feelings that you are but maybe in a different way!

The fact that someone can do this, can understand what you are going through but have diametrically opposite opinions is such a complex (in my opinion) issue that I find it both stimulating and encouraging. So why now? Once again, I am bringing myself back to why I am trying to Blog - meandering in one direction or another is such an easy thing to me to do - my mind is jumping from one idea to another all the time!

More next time.......